fatherhood in babylon

Just two short years ago my wife and I were preparing to pack up our lives in Los Angeles, the vast urban sprawl we’d called home for three years.  We were moving back home to Seattle where our plan was to regroup and begin another chapter of our lives in New York.  A year later we’d begun to settle in the Northwest, unexpectedly.  By that following December I was looking at the tiny digital lettering on a sleek pale pink pregnancy test.  Pregnant.

Now here I am nine months later, a father and I have no clue what I’m doing.  I didn’t read the baby books… that’s right I committed the one great faux pas that Knocked Up told me I should never commit.  As my wife and I left the birth center, strapping our four hour old daughter into the car seat, I kept looking to the midwives, waiting for one of them to question my ability to raise a child.

“You’re not seriously going to trust me with this fragile human life?” I wanted to ask.  “Did you know I’ve adopted five animals in the past six years and only have three left?”  It was as if I was trying to convince them of my inability to keep an infant alive.

It’s been two weeks since I first held my daughter and I still have no idea what I’m doing.  I take solace in knowing that she’s still alive and healthy.  I don’t know if anyone actually knows what their doing when it comes to children.  If they did then you wouldn’t find shelves upon shelves of parenting books full of confusing and contradicting information at your local bookstore.

So in this age of over sharing I’m going to over share the shit out of what has easily been the most insane year of my life, and what is guaranteed to be the craziest years ahead.  Here I’ll be ping-ponging between the past and the present.  I won’t be a guiding light for would be parents to follow, instead I’ll simply be documenting my successes and failures through everyday observations.  I promise nothing in the way of education, but hopefully plenty in the way of entertainment.

By the way I run another more professional website, secretly-important, which focuses on music and entertainment.  I think it’s pretty great and I think you might feel the same.  I also includes a podcast that I work very hard on with interviews, with some great musicians, writers, and artists.  Please make sure to check out the website and “like” us on facebook.

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